Exhausted.
Physically. Emotionally. Mentally.
Yet. God is good. He is my Strength.
Praise: This morning I was teary as I listened to a voicemail from a friend who wants to take my daughter (12) out for coffee this Saturday. I am preparing myself for this precious one to have her melt-down. She is a very emotional creature and we have tried preparing her for the roller coaster she might experience. My fear is that because she tends to subconciously take on another's ailments (brother's neck pain, broken bone, and more) how will she deal with her brother's suicide attempt?
Praise: Our Youth Pastor will be getting our 13 year old out of the house on Sunday. He needs time to be himself out from under his brother's shadow. He needs time to process. And we are thrilled that he gets to go to District for Wrestling tomorrow! Way to go!
Praise: And a new friend reached out to me again today. She gave me a great referral the other day and I so appreciated it. She is not judging me but loving me. And I can't thank her enough for that!
Praise: Found out that our insurance will cover 100% of counseling and pshychiatric help, except for a $20 copay.
Praise: My hubby and I went out for a date for coffee!
Then there is Christmas.
To host the party Saturday or not. Am I really up to having company? My heart is not in this. How do I explain my hesitation? But don't our kids deserve some Holiday cheer? Maybe it will rub off on me. But other than the year my father died a few weeks before Christmas, I've never felt sick about it being "the most wonderful time of the year"! Hmmmm. That was a death. This was almost a death. I realized to today that at some point I will start grieving. I pray I won't totally fall apart. I almost literally got sick while grocery shopping. I saw people happily shopping for parties and Christmas and felt SICK.
Verse: Psalm 23
A Psalm of David.
1Jehovah is my shepherd; I shall not want.2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures; He leadeth me beside still waters.
3 He restoreth my soul: He guideth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
4 Yea, thou I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for thou art with me; Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me.
5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: Thou hast anointed my head with oil; My cup runneth over.
6 Surely goodness and lovingkindness shall follow me all the days of my life; And I shall dwell in the house of Jehovah for ever.
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